green beer=green poop

Happy St. Patrick's Day, students. Today we celebrate the great Irish holiday that requires all bars make their beer green and serve corned beef hash or bread pudding. Fucking disgusting.

Let us take a break a celebrate the man, St. Patrick, who drove the snakes out of Ireland that the Germans put there to scare the locals and try to conquer their territory. Rumor has it, St Patrick is really an American who just so happened to be a snake wrangler here in the States and put his trade to work while he was summering on the countryside. It is believed that he basically just stomped around drunk with a big stick and a clover covered green robe and scared all the snakes onto a boat in Dublin Harbor and then lit the boat on fire and pushed it safely away from the Irish. They all cheered and drank a Guinness. History was altered and a Saint was crowned.

Tigers:

Tonight we take on St. John's in the NIT. Not a good sign that we play a Saint school on a Saint's Day.

Predictions: St John's 58 Memphis 54.

• Willie Kemp goes 0-9 with 6 turnovers and tears his ACL on a last second heave from half court that won't even count. He makes the shot.
• Will Coleman cries after getting beaten to 22 offensive rebounds by the Red Storm. He finishes with 4 points and 3 rebounds in 13 minutes of foul plagued ineptness.
• Elliot Williams continues his streak of shit stains he continually puts up against good teams. 7 points.
  
• Josh Pastner will nearly curses as he screams, "Will, what the freckety frack are you doing!" He will have a cigarette after the game and go to Raifords and drink a 32oz.
• Joe Jackson will watch from behind the bench and think, "Thank God, Willie Kemp is out of eligibility."
• Roburt Sallie will hit a pointless 3 early in the first half and salute the crowd. The crowd will boo. Loudly.
• Doneal Mack will have "Will shoot 3's for Ca$h" shaved in his head. He will immediately sign with Hoop Family for $35 and a Sport Clips coupon after the game, strengthening our outside shooting.

Grizz:

Yay! We beat the Bulls last night when they didn't have their 4 top scorers. Oh well, a win is a win at this point. We travel to Houston tonight.